Why I’m Feeling Overwhelmed
HEALTH - LIBERTY - HAPPINESS
SUPPORT DOC MALIK
It only took me 40 years to get my work-life balance sorted out. I’ve realised that balance in life is key to everything.
For years I immersed myself in work. Looking back it was a combination of several things. One of them being a coping mechanism. If I was too busy working, it stopped me from focusing on the issues that I was scared to face. My own insecurities, problems with my health, my relationships etc.
But in my early 40’s I had cracked the code. I was doing 4 half-day clinics and 1 half-day operating list a week. I had a whole day off to spend with my wife. I finally had learnt to delegate work, and my secretary was more of a personal assistant doing a lot of the admin I used to do myself. I was exercising regularly and going to bed on time. My children knew me, and I finally learned to love myself, to receive love and to give love.
I had achieved balance, and as a result, was happy and healthy.
But in the last year, my life has been turned upside down.
I have lost the balance, and I guess I’m writing this not just so that you understand but also hopefully in an attempt to help me understand myself what has gone wrong and what I can do to fix it.
So why am I feeling overwhelmed? Broadly speaking I could break it down into 3 areas, Podcast, Correspondence and Information.
Podcast
So let’s talk about Podcasts.
The Podcast was born out of frustration with what I could see going on in the world. It was my way of fighting back and doing something. I also think it was my midlife crisis. The options were to buy a motorbike, have an affair or start a podcast. I jest, but you get what I mean.
Every episode felt to me like I was lobbing a grenade at the enemy. And contrary to what everyone told me, there has been no shortage of guests, quite the contrary. There are so many unsung heroes that need to be heard, and so many topics that are not discussed.
After my suspension, I teetered on the brink of depression. Depression I know, as he had been a companion of mine for many years. But I had banished him for roughly a decade. He is a funny old fellow, miserable and dark. But within his company, there is a degree of comfort that is difficult to describe. I didn’t want to wallow in that, but equally, I didn’t want to focus on the fact that my career had been ripped away from me. So I did what I have always done, immerse myself in work and even more work.
I have published 180 episodes in 365 days. Pretty much one every 2 days. But I have recorded even more. Some days I was recording 3 episodes in 1 day, no I am not kidding.
But it wasn’t just the fact that this was how I was coping with my demons. I’ve also lost the ability to say no.
In my younger days, I wanted to please everyone, and never say no. But in the last decade, I had come to the conclusion that I couldn’t please everyone all of the time or say yes to everything. That thing is called balance. The last year that went out the window. I found it hard to say no to potential guests and recommendations. After all, there are so many people with important things to say, I need to help them.
Every day I get several people reaching out to me recommending themselves or someone else as a potential guest. I would say 90% are really good suggestions and would make excellent guests. I don’t want to say no to any of them.
As a result of my inability to say no and my desire to give people a voice, I have now got a backlog of recorded and not published podcasts and I am booked up until October.
Episodes yet to be released include -
Poppy Bazell (Nurse speaking out against Covid)
Brook Jackson (Pfizer Whistle blower)
Veda Austin (On water memory)
Simon King (Health, pain relief and former chiropracter)
Darren Nesbitt (The Light Newspaper)
David Rasnick (On cancer)
Thomas Seyfried (On cancer)
Sara Pugh (Quantum biology and health)
Roger Hodkinson (Canadian doctor and dissident)
Roman Brystianyk (Dissolving illusions)
Michael Ginsburg (Controlled opposition)
Chris Martenson (Peak prosperity and Malthusianism)
Alan Stevens (Libertarianism)
Astrid Stuckleberger (The WHO and freedom)
Crypto Rich (Home education)
Simon Elmer (Covid, freedom)
Ian McDermott (Fellow orthopaedic surgeon and friend)
Anna De Buiserrat (Lawyer and freedom fighter)
Matthew Pipenburg (Investor on freedom and what is wrong with the world)
James Delingpole (No real introductions needed!)
Anne McCloskey (Irish doctor and freedom fighter)
Jerome Corsi (Who shot JFK)
Roman Shapoval (EMF and dirty electricity)
Rachel Roberts (Chief executive of Homoeopathic Research Institute)
Jacob Diaz (Terrain and No Virus argument)
Danni Herve (Jersey Island vaccine injury)
Mark Pirkl (Taxation and serfdom)
And several supporter stories episodes such as Michael T, Vladimir Z, Roy W, Quentin C, and more
On top of this backlog, I have another 47 guests booked in the months ahead.
And the suggestions keep coming.
As well as the technical aspects of recording and scheduling. There is a ton of research that goes with the podcasts. Reading about the guests, their books and articles, and going through their social media feeds.
Correspondence
So what about correspondence? I love staying connected with people. As a surgeon, I prided myself that I was available to all my patients. They had my email address and my mobile number. Having been a patient I can tell you there is nothing more frustrating than not being able to get in touch with your doctor!
I carried this over to the podcast world. I love contacting my guests and speaking to them at least once if not several times over the phone prior to a podcast. I keep in touch regularly with many afterwards as well. I like to email all my new paid subscribers, many of you who write me beautiful and moving emails that I like to read. I have a small and loyal following on Instagram who remember me from the days when I was the @Londonfootandanklesurgeon. I like to respond to DMs and messages.
Not only do I love the stories and comments, but I have had some great recommendations for guests and have found guests from people who are on Instagram. Most recently yesterday I connected with Leigh Brandon on Instagram who reached out to me and who will be a guest and The Maverick Coach, Gavin as well, again through Instagram.
But recently the level of correspondence has become a flood. I have hundreds of messages a week, and if I replied to every single one, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else, I mean anything.
This leaves me feeling sad and frustrated. I feel like I am letting people down.
Information
And lastly, there is the issue of information.
With every podcast, and every new email or message I get exposed to new bits of information. I am now collecting a library of unread books. A catalogue of videos to watch, podcasts to listen and substacks to read. Where do I find the time? And how can I digest all the information? Sometimes I think my brain will explode. The recent stuff I’ve learnt about EMF and yesterday speaking to Dr David Nixon about nanotech gave me a headache. Some of the information I get presented with makes me re-evaluate my whole worldview. Yet another aspect of history you took for granted turns out to be an epic lie. It can be quite unsettling. It’s hard to feel grounded when the ground beneath you is like shifting sand.
Just when you think things couldn’t be worse than they already are, you discover some new piece of information that reveals the depths of evil that exist. Maintaining hope and positivity can be challenging.
The enemy is calculating and devious, it has powerful resources and is fighting on so many fronts. So many of us get fixated on one topic, settling into one trench, thinking the enemy lies in front of us. But the reality is the enemy is all around us, above us and beneath us. It is a multi-pronged attack and unless we understand all the issues we cannot defeat them. And thats what I am trying to do with the podcast, expose ALL the lies, and all the attacks on humanity.
I can see why many people choose to look away, to live in blissful ignorance. The truth can be painful, extremely so.
Solution
So what am I going to do?
I’m going to stop booking new guests as of today. I’ll restart bookings in mid-August. So please be patient with me. If you have someone in mind, perhaps wait until August to email or message me.
If you have recorded a podcast with me and are wondering why the hell has it not been published, now you know. Please be patient with me.
From October I will record 3 podcasts a week and no more. I will learn to say no again.
I will concentrate on replying to my paid subscribers first, they are my priority. Then if I can my Instagram followers. But I will have to accept that a lot of emails I simply cannot reply to and I must not feel bad about it.
With fewer podcast recordings I will use the time to read the books I have got.
I will prioritise my sleep, my health, and my family. I will exercise as that helps with the stress and keeps the mind sharp.
Ok, I have a plan, I’m feeling better already. I just need to stick with it!
Thank you for reading and understanding.
Ahmad with love x
Health - Liberty - Happiness
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Much love Ahmad
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