The Israel Supporter And The Sandwich
Israel supporter: [Walks up to a guy at a restaurant, grabs his sandwich, starts eating it.]
Guy: Hey!
Israel supporter: What?
Guy: That’s my sandwich!
Israel supporter [still eating]: Sandwich? What sandwich?
Guy: Right there! You’re eating it right now!
Israel supporter: No I’m not.
Guy: Oh my God! You’re standing right in front of me eating my sandwich! I can see you doing it with my own eyes!
Israel supporter [finishing sandwich]: Nope. Never happened.
Guy: You owe me another sandwich you prick! You stole from me!
Israel supporter: So you’re saying Jews steal? That’s an anti-semitic canard!
Guy: What?? I didn’t even know what religion you are! I’m just mad you stole my sandwich and ate it right in front of me!
Israel supporter: That never happened. Or if it did happen it wasn’t me. Or if it was me I had to do it because another guy did something that left me no choice, so you should blame him.
Guy: Gah!!
Israel supporter: Actually come to think of it I’m beginning to suspect maybe YOU ate MY sandwich.
Guy: How is this happening? This is ridiculous!
Israel supporter: Again with the Jew hating!
Guy: Why the hell do you keep babbling about Jews?? This has nothing to do with Jews! This is about you personally and the specific thing you just did!
Israel supporter: Okay Hitler. [Steals silverware on the table, exits.]
____________
My work is entirely reader-supported, so if you enjoyed this piece here are some options where you can toss some money into my tip jar if you want to. Go here to buy paperback editions of my writings from month to month. All my work is free to bootleg and use in any way, shape or form; republish it, translate it, use it on merchandise; whatever you want. The best way to make sure you see the stuff I publish is to subscribe to the mailing list on Substack, which will get you an email notification for everything I publish. All works co-authored with my husband Tim Foley.
Bitcoin donations: 1Ac7PCQXoQoLA9Sh8fhAgiU3PHA2EX5Zm2
Featured image via Adobe Stock, formatted for size.
No comments:
Post a Comment